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Sorry for the long post.

I have two best friends, we have known each other for over 30 years. We've been through a lot together. We fought over a girl, we run from the police, we helped each other with exams, and we dragged our drunk asses home from a party more times than I can remember. Every time I broke an arm or leg or got hit by a car (I'm accident prone), they took me to the ER and waited. We could write a good book about our mischief and adventures. Even though we work in different places and live in different cities, we still keep in touch. From time to time we play board games or go to concerts.

These two guys are like my family and I would do anything for them. I must admit that a few years ago, before I started all the therapy, I was so depressed that I didn't want to go out in public. I almost lost my job, my relationship ended, and I may not have been suicidal, but yes... there was no light in my life. My friends came up to me with an idea to improve my mood and took me on a weekend hiking trip. We had a good time, we walked,  we talked ,we drank, we drank some more and it helped me get back together.

We try to meet every year on our birthdays in this small group to catch up and reminisce about old times. On my last birthday, I decided to drop the transition bomb on them. When the waiter "mistook me" for a woman and they laughed and said "That never gets old", I thought it was the perfect opportunity and told them, "Well, I'm not mad, because that's what it's all about." They were confused and things got even worse when I told them I had been taking HRT for over a year. At first they thought I was making fun of them, but when I showed them my estrogen pills, they fell silent. At this point I used our cleansing method. Every time one of us had a bad breakup or something to be happy about, like a promotion, we would crack open a Bourbon and get pissed. When I returned to the table with the bottle and three glasses, I said, “We've been friends for so long that I don't even remember a time when I didn't know you two. We have been through so many wierd shit together and my greatest respect has been for both of you. That's why you are the first people, apart from my parents and doctor, with whom I share this. I'm still my same old, carefree, mischievous, clumsy self. I may change my appearance, name and pronounces, but it will be still me. I hope you will understand and accept my decision"

I could tell they weren't happy about the news, but they agreed on one thing: that they didn't mind what made me happy. A bottle of bourbon and a series of questions later, they understood how I wanted to continue my transition and that I would stick to some gender-neutral style for now. I don't remember the whole night or how I got home, but the next day I thanked them for the gift and the whole meeting, and they thanked me too.

Unfortunately, we rarely contacted each other after that. This radio silence worried me so much that I even shared it with my doctor. She said that maybe my friends reacted similarly to my parents, who at some point realized that they had lost their son, so in a sense, my friends had lost their buddy. It really depressed me. Everything changed when I fell down the stairs one day (just my random clumsiness) and when I got a cast on my arm, I took a picture of it, wrote "some things never change" and posted it on our discord channel. An hour later, they drove me and my car home, where I ordered a pizza and we had caught up a bit.

After that everything went back to normal. We stayed in touch, they even sent me a few trans-related memes (but nothing offensive). Funnily enough, one time while we were playing Borderlands 3 online, they started remembering some strange facts from my past that kind of hinted at my feminine side. And the best thing is that when talking to me or about me, they avoid using male pronouns, and they do not use female pronouns either, and believe me, it is very difficult in our language. They use my nickname, which is pretty gender neutral. It so happens that one of my friends has a birthday today, and we plan to meet twice, the first with all our friends at the birthday boy's house, and then in a week, just the three of us, at my place, as I live alone and have very understanding neighbors.